🏆 Most insightful post-retreat reflection
"Learned a lot about tech in Todos Santos"
— mrphilipstyles, recovering technologist
🌵 Todos Santos 2026 · Members Only
wrong password, try harder
hint: it's the thing we learned about
🌵 Todos Santos, Baja California Sur · May 2026
The world's premier edible consumption optimization retreat.
Where the brightest minds in gummy technology gather to push the boundaries of chewable human performance.
🏆 Most insightful post-retreat reflection
— mrphilipstyles, recovering technologist
Every great movement starts with a single gummy. Half of American tech bros are in gummy deserts. Our supply chains are chewy. Cyber attacks are on the rise, but so is our blood sugar. It's time to strengthen America. Imagine being among 14 of the brightest minds, all driven by grit, vibes, and confectionery, in the state where the world's most giant rocket also eats gummies.
True gummy maxxing isn't about quantity. It's about posture. It's about the angle of recline. It's about having a dog nearby who also looks exhausted.
Our lead researcher demonstrates the patented Todos Santos Passive Consumption Method™ — hoodie deployed, reflective eyewear engaged, gummy balanced with surgical precision.
This is what $1M in prize value actually looks like.
Delegates arrive at the Paradero. Concrete cylinders are admired. The gummy supply chain is assessed. Someone immediately lies down.
Led by our chief researcher, this session focuses on optimal horizontal orientation, eyewear configuration, and canine co-facilitation techniques.
A bald man peers through a window at a breathtaking desert sunset. The desert doesn't notice. The gummies are distributed. Nobody takes notes.
Delegates gather by candlelight. A dog attends. Red solo cups are strategically deployed. Everyone agrees this is the most productive tech event they've been to.
Three delegates pose in front of a teepee structure. Shirts are optional. Learnings are exchanged. A second photo is taken because the first was actually perfect but we needed a backup.
All 14 delegates assemble at the pool overlooking the Baja desert at golden hour. Consensus reached: we learned a lot about tech.
Lead facilitator immediately falls asleep wearing Hello Kitty eye mask. Co-facilitator documents the achievement. Gummy effects officially confirmed.
Special Guest Speaker: Baby delegate attended the pre-retreat assembly and demonstrated advanced unbridled joy technology — a technique our senior researchers have been unable to replicate. Research is ongoing.
Official sponsors of Gummy Maxxing 2026